Dread
To feel. I can't feel. I don't feel. Why not? What am i missing? What is gone? Is it a sense of self or is it simply the ecstatic hormonal teenage years that are gone? I don't know. I still feel it inside me. I have it inside me still. But i don't know how to take it out. Maybe it's me, maybe i'm the one shutting it down. And if so, why? Why am i shutting down what i know is something beautiful? What i know, that makes me, me? I've tried doing every single thing. I did. Conversing with old and new friends about life, relationships and feelings themselves. I've tried listening to old songs that made me feel that cosmic existential dread. But nothing. Only a couple words, couple poems. Nothing else than that. Why not? Is it supposed to be like this? Like, i'm grateful, for everything. I have a home, food, a great job. I don't worry about the simplicity of survival anymore. I've got two beautiful souls, beautiful cats living with me. They share ...