Modern Eşkıyanın Otoban Sayfaları

 Kinda leaves you hanging, yearning for just a little bit more. One more kiss before bed, one more shivering cigarette on your balcony, overlooking those dark and full streets. No matter how hard I try, some memories, I can't carve into my mind enough. Moments filled with details I dare not forget but in those moments time itself becomes an aspect that no longer holds any sway over my mind. I live the moment, in that moment and I live it to its full extent. I enjoy it as much as I can and I make sure you enjoy it too. But life actively chooses not to care and the clock starts ticking again. In its absence it leaves a timeless sense of stasis. Some form of patience for the clock to stop ticking again. It resembles patience from the outside but it is anything but. I'd rather not wait because I do not know how to manage this static existence.  After a while you just wake up, make a cup of coffee and sit down on the couch and contemplate whether or not you should open the curtains...

 As if in a sacrilegious rant of his own, without a single filter on his mind, he just kept on talking. He certainly had some things to say and I'm sure he said almost all of it but the more he kept on talking, the more his choice of words struck me as erratic. It's as if he had started fighting himself to keep himself from saying some things. Either way the damage was already done. Just not entirely sure if it was done by him. He clearly had a solid foundation behind some of the things he said but in the end it didn't really matter. Other party did not care for any reasonings or explanations. Final hurtful sentences were uttered and the conversation came to an end. To be perfectly candid with you, I wasn't completely certain that he was hurt. I mean, I did see his face drop and his argumentative tone shift towards a more melancholic one. I could see it on his face that he was bothered by the turn of events but knowing him, I can say with absolute certainty that he was ...

 Kırık ahşap parçalarının sessizliği bozan tıkırtıları bu karanlıkta gözlerimi açtıran. İstenmeyen bir misafir veya bir hırsız değil kesinlikle. Paylaşılan yalnızlığımın bir anımsatıcısı sadece. Yeryüzünün en karanlık koridorlarında bulmayı beklemezdim bu sakinliğimi. Cama vuran yağmur damlaları ve dışarıdan ara sıra gelen rasgele sesler dışında bir varlığı kalmıyor dışarıdaki dünyanın. Sokaklarda oluktaki su gibi akıp giden insanlar yok. Çöpleri toplamaya gelen kamyonlar yok. Işıkları sönmüş ve yaşama tamamıyla küsmüş bir şehir var sanki. İçimde edindiği yere artık sığamayacak kadar büyüyen hislerim taşmaya başlamış paçalarımdan. Çizgi filmlerdeki kokan karakterlerin etrafına yayılan kötü koku çizgileri gibi görünüyor bu hissettiklerim. Kötü koktuğundan değil tabi, yalnızca varlığını en kolay böyle taşırabiliyor gözler önüne. Ki zaten neyi nasıl simgeleyeceğini dikte edebilecek bir isteğim bulunmuyor. Nasılsa öyle olsun. "Belki cam kırıklarının arasındadır aradıkların," diye...