Dreary

 Shall we never dream then? Never carry the slightest glimpse of hope again? Thought of a gaze held just a little too long. Followed by a smile and a dream that haunts my darkness.

"It's alright, I guess. Work's been difficult lately but I manage. I'm just glad I'm getting enough time to enjoy some time to my self, you know," she said. He listened and smiled every now and then. As the conversation continued, their breakfast neared its end. As he asked for the check, he told her about the last time he was here. "I think it was back in '17, had a decent group of friends back then. One morning, one of our lessons got cancelled and we came all the way here for breakfast. It was nice, it was fun but I was quite young and didn't really know what to do or where to go with my life at that time. So, as you can imagine, I was very confused with my options. So I just decided not to choose and merely enjoyed the time I spent," he said. She still wasn't sure whether he was into her or not. They shared many smiles and held their gaze a little too long, a little too much. Her conscience decided to bring up what she would be leaving behind if she were to keep her gaze any more. Torn between the sharp existence of possibilities present in her eyes and the one simmering in her heat, she was unsure on what to do or where to go. "I guess I'm exactly where you were. Confused with my options," she said. He laughed. He knew what she meant. They got up and left the restaurant. Slowly stepped out into the cold streets. He braced himself against the sharp winds hitting his face as if wearing them, then extended his arm toward the woman. Her heart wanted to think once more, but the gaze she couldn’t look away from didn’t allow it, and she slipped her arm into his. Together, they walked toward the road leading to the shore. They talked about the things they’d worked on together, the days they’d spent, and the melancholic yet alive songs they shared with each other. With every glance, both their eyes shone a little more, and their smiles grew wider. She felt the urgency of time weighing her down about her desires. She knew she wanted this but she also knew she wanted to do it right. She didn't want to step over the person she was seeing, she didn't want to be reckless. They crossed the street and entered the tram stop. As they boarded, he placed a hand on the woman’s waist and guided her for a few seconds. And all she could think about was his fingers, grasping at her waist, letting her know that he's right there. They sat down and enjoyed the ride, almost in complete silence. She looked outside the window, watched the cobblestone streets of the city, enjoyed the view and kept thinking. As she sat beside him, he kept catching glimpses of her on the glass in front of them. Almost a mirage, a desire, a feeling that kept blinking out of existence and brought back to life continuously. "We're getting off at the next stop," he said. She turned to answer him, her face riddled with worry and confusion. "Okay," she said and smiled. "Can I have a cigarette?" she asked as they walked towards the large archway. "Of course," he said and they lit their cigarettes. Her eyes widened as they entered the park. She clearly enjoyed the view and the quiet walk beneath the trees. "Wait till we get to my favorite spot," he said. "Oh yeah? This is pretty nice, I don't know if you can beat this," she said. He laughed and said "You'll see, no worries." As they walked towards the end of the park, he pointed to a worn-down, narrow path to their right. After walking a little while, they came up to the top of the walls surrounding the park, a bench right next to them and a view of the entire city with slow, dark and gloomy clouds in the sky. He sat down on the bench. "You weren't kidding," she said and sat down next to him. "I used to come here late at night with an aching heart and a flooded mind. I would sit right here, think and write my sorrows away," he said. She looked at him and asked "What did you write?" He turned to catch her gaze, hoping she would smile once more. Simply to add this moment to an unending archive of memories. "Poems, short stories and sometimes love letters," he said. "I didn't know you wrote poems. Why didn't you tell me?" she asked. Curious to learn what it is that keeps her holding her gaze. "It takes some time for me to share this part of me with people. The things I write are who I am and where I am, you know," he said. "I get it. Oversharing is fun and all but some things are better reserved for special moments. Would you read me one?" she asked. He smiled and nodded. "Sure, let's see. There is one I really like, called 'Brittle'." As he read his poem, she forgot all about the view, she forgot all about her worries and as her heart raced, her thoughts simply died down to the utter silence of the moment in her. He turned to look at her, caught her gaze and smiled as he kept reciting the poem. She leaned in closer, waited for him to finish his sentence and then kissed him.

You've seen how dreary this town can be yet still find the glimpses of sunshine through the darkening clouds and somehow, hope.