Late

 It's the same world hanging outside my window. Calling for me to step back into its running streets and flowing alleys. I wouldn't dare to call it "regret" and make this already difficult days harder than they should be. It is already suffering at its best. However, that feeling is still there, lingering right behind my conscious thoughts, begging to be let out so it can have its moment and perform the monologue its been preparing all these years. But no. Please, no. Life might find a way to get what it needs and force me out of these days one way or another but until life does accordingly, I cannot fathom to take that step all by myself. Because I still believe in this. I still have hope that soon enough, sun will shine on my face, sea will beckon my name and the warm, mellow nights will cherish my soul. For if not hope, I don't know what else is there to keep this all from falling down. I wish I could say that I've been doing special things with my days and write them down in detail but I'm not. My days are stressful, my evenings are balancing and my nights are simply terrorizing. I yearn for the embrace of a loved one and still go to bed by myself. I am trying to make things better though, I'm not just wallowing for this pitiful existence. I'm giving it my all to improve things. Day to day stuff, you know. Small things to make it a little bit easier. All in all, I am barely keeping my head above the water and I am exhausted. I don't really want to let these thoughts of surrender fill my dreams yet it does manage to show its undeniable appeal. 

Maybe tomorrow will be a bit brighter, yeah?